sensuality

is it luck or fate or do you really know
how much deeply sensual beauty you show
are you consciously aware of how you got there
or is it just going with the flow
are you just going with the flow?

sensuality
is so much more than we see
but we all know visually
how someone can be
unapproachably
casual and free

when you look at me
there is no denying what you see
as you hunger viscerally
for someone who can be
irresistibly
sensuality

take my hand and touch your promised land
let your fantasy go where it will
no one else needs to understand
if it is just the thrill
is is more than just the thrill

hold me close and feel your self unfold
let your body sweep your mind away
forget everything else you've been told
you have found all you need today
sensuality today

let your sensuality
come out to play

sensuality
is so much more than we see
but we all know visually
how someone can be
unapproachably
casual and free

when you look at me
there is no denying what you see
as you hunger viscerally
for someone who can be
irresistibly
sensuality

roll with the flow
roll with the flow
roll with the flow
maybe you know

but even if you know
roll with the flow
roll with the flow
let yourself go

same old silence

i am looking for a lover who won't drive me crazy
and a lover who will not try to change me
i am looking for a friend who is not afraid of sex
and can satisfy a body without wanting to be
the beginning and end of my world
can you just be satisfied getting your toes curled
i am looking for a lover who knows that love is free
a lover who can share free love with me

i do not want to use or abuse
or put anyone one down
i don't need the delusions or lies or fears
that have plagued humanity for so many years

i do not want the guilt or the shame
there is no one to blame
because there is nothing wrong with sharing
physical love with someone caring

can you love without the fear?
can you let go of religious persecution?
can you live without the lies?
can you find your way out of the delusions?

can you live in the moment and know this is all there is?
i am looking for a love who knows how to live and let live

i am looking for a lover who won't try to cage me
a lover who will not try to judge or change me
i am looking for a friend who is not afraid of sex
and can satisfy a body without wanting needing permission
or any other arbitrary tradition or conditions
can you just be satisfied reaching sensual fruition
i am looking for a lover who knows that love is free
a lover who can share free love with me

and i hear the same old silence
maybe even an old gasp
from the frightened hooked on violence
living lies and rushing past
all the lonely and deluded
sold the ancient ignorance
so afraid of looking foolish
that they never join the dance
hiding behind their walls
pretending to ignore natures calls
don't ask don't tell
i don't buy what they sell

i do not want to use or abuse
or put anyone one down
i don't need the delusions or lies or fears
that have plagued humanity for so many years

i do not want the guilt or the shame
there is no one to blame
because there is nothing wrong with sharing
physical love with someone caring

can you love without the fear?
can you let go of religious persecution?
can you live without the lies?
can you find your way out of the delusions?

can you live in the moment and know this is all there is?
i am looking for a love who knows how to live and let live

i am looking for a lover who will love honestly
a lover who let go of corrupted morality
i am looking for a friend who unafraid of the body
and can share passion and embrace ecstasy
when love is unconditional
that's when it is beautiful
i am looking for a lover who knows that love is free
a lover who can share free love with me

return of loneliness

the loneliness is deeper than the skin
well beyond horniness
a longing to share from within
the deepest recesses
of the heart and mind
the secrets only the best friends
can ever find

would you take the time?
would you really care?
would you let yourself go
and really share?

would you give yourself?
would you take me too?
would you would you help create
something made of me and you?

could you handle honesty
if we didn't turn each other on?
could you be a true friend
when the lust or novelty is gone?

do you understand that loneliness
is not love?
and i am feeling loneliness so much

could you handle honesty
if it was just a physical thing?
could you be a true friend
or would you just be a fling?

do you understand that loneliness
is not love?
and i am feeling loneliness so much

could you be
someone
who understands?

could you be
someone
who can hold hands?

would you take the time?
would you really care?
would you let yourself go
and really share?

would you give yourself?
would you take me too?
would you would you help create
something made of me and you?

the loneliness is deeper than the skin
well beyond horniness
a longing to share from within
the deepest recesses
of the heart and mind
the secrets only the best friends
can ever find

all

i wold tell you all my secrets if you cared to listen intensely enough to stay awake because you felt you could not stop listening for the sheer fascination of wanting to know me that much...

we don't have to fall in love, we just have to care enough...

i will live

it’s an aching loneliness
i confess
was it the cat curling up
while i slept
that awoke this loneliness
what a mess
how much more am i to bear
growing need
emo bleed
desperate for someone to hear

but not just anyone
no, not just anyone

the wagons circle
shudders close
there must be someone
who knows
how to reach that part of me
so long sleeping
promise keeping
worshipping what no one sees
how alone
can any one person be

but not just any one
oh, not just any one

the eyes roll back
heartbeats relax
and i am ready to die…
but i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
for love
for love
for love

it’s an aching loneliness
i confess
was it the cat curling up
while i slept
waking with a living breathing
animal in my arms
waking charms
what a mess
how much more am i to bear
growing need
emo bleed
desperate for someone to hear

but not just anyone
no, not just anyone

i mean no harm
i work hard to make that true
in every little thing i do
it is my way
and most of you
might say it is the way
of an innocent child, ok
maybe that is why i remain
alone again, unnaturally, in pain
please allow me to introduce myself
or please allow me to go insane

the eyes roll back
heartbeats relax
and i am ready to die…
but i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
for love
for love
for love

it’s an aching loneliness
i confess
was it watching the couples kissing
at the party
wishing someone was with me
in that way
what can i say
what a mess
how much more am i to bear
growing need
emo bleed
desperate for someone to hear

but not just anyone
no, not just anyone

i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love

meaning

it really does not matter what i say
the words will keep flowing anyway
it means nothing more than what you want it to mean
what means something are the moments you share with me

it really does not matter if this song is sung
the words will keep flowing now that it's begun
but the words were meaningless before it began
what means something are the moments you hold my hand

and these words can tell the world how much i love you
and these words can give others hope they might find
someone who can make these words mean something true
but for me and you, it's just a song we leave behind
for what means something is what we feel in our hearts
and what we believe in our minds

i believe in you
i believe you believe in me
the words are meaningless
what means everything, you see
is what we do for each other
what we do with each other
what i do for you
what you do for me
the moment we share
mean everything to me
the way that you care
means everything to me
each moment you are here
means everything to me

it really does not matter if anyone hears
the words are only breaths we share
the words and breaths only mean what you want them to mean
what means something are the moments you are with me
each moment you are here means everything to me

stranger at the orgy

i'm not just here for sex
see, i'm looking for love
something to hold on to
something to be proud of
i'm not prude or celibate
but i'm not just here for the lust
i want something more from you
someone i can trust

this is no passion play
even if you drive me wild
you might be my libido fantasy
but listen to me child

i'm not just here for sex
but i am not afraid
so if you want to touch me
if you want to be laid

you might get what you want here
but i want something more
and as i give it to you
i'll look for your closed door

and ask for it to open
to see the real inside
for i am here to know you
and not just for the ride

so what do you want?
we can spin the room around
let our feelings overflow
make that gasping suckling sound
put our primal selves in gear
leave all consciousness behind
and wake up in pools of passion
as if we both lost our mind

and if that's all you can offer
a sigh comes with morning light
anyone can be your lover
but i'll pass on you tonight

i'm not just here for sex
see, i'm looking for love
something to hold on to
something to be proud of
i'm not prude or celibate
but i'm not just here for the lust
i want something more from you
someone i can trust

i'm not just here for sex
i don't want to pretend
i'm not just here for sex
i'm looking for a friend

fill in the blank

what does it take to earn your adoration
how can i be more attractive to you
do you know yourself well enough to express your desire
or does it just come up from behind and surprise you
i wish i knew what to do

you are the most adorable person i've ever met
you match every dream lover i've ever known
my heart melts every time your eyes meet mine
your smile ignites fireworks in my mind
you walk into a room and i find
my libido panting
please be kind

what can i do to find out how you feel about me
how can i know without pushing you away
if there is no attraction i still want to know you
i'll be your most loyal friend till my dying day
i wish i knew what to say

you inspire me to want to be a better person
i will serve you to keep you somehow in my life
my heart grows everytime your eyes meet mine
your smile inspires compassion in my mind
you walk into a room and i find
my confidence rise
i unwind

and if i am not the right one for you
that's alright because you inspire me
to believe in myself and all i knew
before i learned about cruelty
you take me back to a simpler time
when innocence still so strong and free
and hope was all i needed to rhyme
as i wrote the words would sing to me
you bring back my inner child
my inner voice
belief in fantasy
and you remind me
i have the choice
to create my reality

so i'll just say thank you and move along
if you are not interested in knowing more
but if you don't mind, i'll sing this song
to you, ________ who i will always adore

in the moment

living in the moment always brings me ecstasy
trusting every moment is the ideal way for me
loving every moment can maintain my sanity
and when the vanity comes laugh at it and set it free

cuz the moment is all you can ever really see
if you want your fantasy to become reality
live in the moment unconditionally
cuz living in the moment is the best way to be



fuck the brains out of the one who turns you on
it doesn't really matter if tomorrow she is gone
cuz you will have another fantasy to yearn for by then
and if you find she's still around well do it again

and love every moment with all you can give
that is the best way to be and to live
don't let fear fool you into wasting time
love every moment and make your life rhyme

believe this is true today
because it is true everyday
believe this one thing i say
believe the right one will stay
in that moment that will never fade away

so love every moment you can if you will
the choice has always been yours, don't fear the thrill
living in the moment is the way to ecstasy
trusting every moment is the ideal way for me

loving every moment can maintain my sanity
and when the vanity comes laugh at it and set it free
cuz the moment is all you can ever really see
if you want your fantasy to become reality

live in the moment unconditionally
cuz living in the moment is the best way to be
love in the moment unconditionally
cuz loving in the moment is the best way to be

la la la

forgiveness

so how the hell are you and what do you want
to come out and play as if you can still flaunt
the words that seduce me as only you can
as long as i don't show how easy i am

but you can pretend i am hard to get
you can look past my slutty girl with no regret
and my pathetic child is easy to forget
beggars for love have no real home yet

out on the street corner with those wide-eyes
like a stray dog much more lucky than wise
follow you home for as long as you say
and after he's gone he never goes away

but like that hotel in california
the junkies and love children wouldn't warn ya
'bout the endlessness of endless love maybe lust
and the power of passion is what we should trust

but we all choose to be just what we settle for
even if there are demons knocking on the door
we can keep them at bay with a cowardly roar
cuz it's all just illusion to see or ignore

so you want me to love you again here we are
cuz running the same circle never gets us far
and the love never changes even when we do
ignore it, accept it, it's still up to you

maybe now you might know this, maybe now you will cry
for the child you set up and left behind to die
gasp, but you won't back up if you really know what's true
that child is not me she has always been you

all the words ever written on the high or low shelf
are worth less than nothing until...
you forgive yourself

. . .

so how the hell are you and what do you want?
to come out to play as if you can still flaunt
the words that seduce me as only you can
well be who you are that's a part of the plan

(thank you dan)

ride

my lips pressed against your shoulder
my hands curved around your waist
my body moving to the beat of your heart
what better way for the passion to start

i slip my hands a little further
down and around to where you feel
the magic of your love is pulsing
one press of your button and the love is so real

i can feel your body tremble spooned in mine
you can feel me growing into you
as our breathing reaches deeper into the night
there is only one thing left to do

ride the passion to the end of time
ride the magic into one more rhyme
ride the rhythm of the heartbeat song
faster and faster this is where we belong

ride the river of sweet sensation
ride the waves of sensual vibration
ride the rhythm of the heartbeat song
faster and faster how could this be wrong

ride the wonder of our love
feel it growing strong
ride the wonder of our love
this is where we belong

ride
ride
ride
ride
ride

what's it all about, alf?

an adult blog, me?... am i gonna fill it with words like fuck shit cocksucker tit and whatever else george used to say?... maybe lenny would help... chanelling?... we shall see... for now, maybe i'll just let a little horndog bark... love on the floor...

she was almost adorable
and i found myself
wanting to lick her lips
all over

i was undressing her all day
wondering what would happen
if work did not get in the way

then she touched me
light and casual but it moved me
i could tell she sensed it
as her energy passed through me
her smile asked for more
and i walked her to the door

then she touched me
soft and deliberate and it moved me
i could tell she liked it
as her smile sent shivers through me
her eyes asked for more
so we found an empty floor

then she touched me
firm and sensual and it moved me
i could tell it moved her too
as her eyes rolled she said do me
her hands reached for more
never stripped so fast before

light and color splashed before my eyes
bodies twisted glistening with passion
couldn't get close enough but kept trying
if i said she was good i'd be lying
she was so much better than that
fucking fantastic in fact
lips pressed hands all over
pull me pull me pull me closer

love on the seventeenth floor
hearts harmonizing like never before
love on the seventeenth floor
lust was becoming so much more
wanting more wanting more wanting more
love on the floor

oh how she touched me
wild and wonderful and how it moved me
i could tell she felt it too
felt her passion passing through me
bursting from the core
loving on the floor
lust becoming so much more
wanting more wanting more wanting more
love on the seventeenth floor

adult friend finder

or, for internet searching purposes, adult friendfinder (or AFF for that matter)... this blog begins inspired by my exploration of the adult friendfinder website (which i found a long time ago when i was a member of the friendfinder website, like ten years ago, which was G rated and i don't even know if it's still there at the moment), an x rated social networking website which does everything in it's power to get you to pay for sex, or at least the opportunity to read profiles and connect with others who supposedly want sex...

most of what i found there were people hiding behind profiles interested in little more than comment flirtation, idle titillation, cyber-sex, and other fff (fantasies from afar, fake friend finding, or some more vulgar anagrammatic silliness, you play with it and let me know what you come up with)... actual people interested in actual "friend finding" allusion in the site name might find it is more illusion than actuality, but then, there's always hope, which is why this blog, or at least this blog entry, is here...

if you were wise enough to notice my repeated mentions of blogspot and came here to search for friendalover, then here we are... friend a lover, get it, i want a lover who won't drive me crazy (mentally or emotionally) while driving me well beyond crazy in bed (or wherever we happen to be sharing our passions)... in other words, i want to friend and lover... a lover who is a friend... possible?... anything is possible...

even magic :)

whether i return to continue this blog (and whatever this blog may become) may be seen in time, but for now it is here to let you find me, not the censored must pay to meet me AFF me, but the me you can meet through uncensored public comments, through private email at candor AT bellsouth DOT net, or by calling 407-325-1482...

if you have not read my blog at AFF to see what i am looking for, then read on here and eventually you will know... if you do not want to read to see what i am looking for (or just don't care), then you are probably not what i am looking for... the first thing i am looking for is a friend, someone who cares to know me, someone who wants me to know her, someone who will make the time, share the time to do that... i shall return when i have the time and...

we shall see where this goes together :)