same old silence

i am looking for a lover who won't drive me crazy
and a lover who will not try to change me
i am looking for a friend who is not afraid of sex
and can satisfy a body without wanting to be
the beginning and end of my world
can you just be satisfied getting your toes curled
i am looking for a lover who knows that love is free
a lover who can share free love with me

i do not want to use or abuse
or put anyone one down
i don't need the delusions or lies or fears
that have plagued humanity for so many years

i do not want the guilt or the shame
there is no one to blame
because there is nothing wrong with sharing
physical love with someone caring

can you love without the fear?
can you let go of religious persecution?
can you live without the lies?
can you find your way out of the delusions?

can you live in the moment and know this is all there is?
i am looking for a love who knows how to live and let live

i am looking for a lover who won't try to cage me
a lover who will not try to judge or change me
i am looking for a friend who is not afraid of sex
and can satisfy a body without wanting needing permission
or any other arbitrary tradition or conditions
can you just be satisfied reaching sensual fruition
i am looking for a lover who knows that love is free
a lover who can share free love with me

and i hear the same old silence
maybe even an old gasp
from the frightened hooked on violence
living lies and rushing past
all the lonely and deluded
sold the ancient ignorance
so afraid of looking foolish
that they never join the dance
hiding behind their walls
pretending to ignore natures calls
don't ask don't tell
i don't buy what they sell

i do not want to use or abuse
or put anyone one down
i don't need the delusions or lies or fears
that have plagued humanity for so many years

i do not want the guilt or the shame
there is no one to blame
because there is nothing wrong with sharing
physical love with someone caring

can you love without the fear?
can you let go of religious persecution?
can you live without the lies?
can you find your way out of the delusions?

can you live in the moment and know this is all there is?
i am looking for a love who knows how to live and let live

i am looking for a lover who will love honestly
a lover who let go of corrupted morality
i am looking for a friend who unafraid of the body
and can share passion and embrace ecstasy
when love is unconditional
that's when it is beautiful
i am looking for a lover who knows that love is free
a lover who can share free love with me

return of loneliness

the loneliness is deeper than the skin
well beyond horniness
a longing to share from within
the deepest recesses
of the heart and mind
the secrets only the best friends
can ever find

would you take the time?
would you really care?
would you let yourself go
and really share?

would you give yourself?
would you take me too?
would you would you help create
something made of me and you?

could you handle honesty
if we didn't turn each other on?
could you be a true friend
when the lust or novelty is gone?

do you understand that loneliness
is not love?
and i am feeling loneliness so much

could you handle honesty
if it was just a physical thing?
could you be a true friend
or would you just be a fling?

do you understand that loneliness
is not love?
and i am feeling loneliness so much

could you be
someone
who understands?

could you be
someone
who can hold hands?

would you take the time?
would you really care?
would you let yourself go
and really share?

would you give yourself?
would you take me too?
would you would you help create
something made of me and you?

the loneliness is deeper than the skin
well beyond horniness
a longing to share from within
the deepest recesses
of the heart and mind
the secrets only the best friends
can ever find

alone for years

the first time i fell in love i was not thinking much... so young and unconditional... naked, touching, humping, rolling on each other... so little fear at 4 years old... from then until just a few years ago i was in love and physically sharing love (and sexually active, shared or not) every day of this life... most years i had an active partner, but when i did not, i easily immersed myself in a fantasy of someone, at least visually... unconditional trust and falling in love was just being me...

all that changed just after the millennium changed... i found myself less willing to compromise... but even from a distance, in fantasy, i found myself more challenged to find someone who would inspire me to fall in love... even on the pure physical level, i found myself more challenged to find someone who would turn on libido... and most important of all, i found myself more challenged than ever to find someone who inspired me to want to trust unconditionally... and i write this wondering - do you understand that?... or this?...

and after a bit of wonderful masturbation earlier today i realized that it has been years since i fell in love with someone on any level... it is perspective, my perspective that has changed... i see the fear in the faces and i realize they do not trust themselves and therefore they cannot trust me and therefore, unlike before, i do not pretend to forget that i am a fool to unconditionally trust them... i know too much, see too much, feel too much, perceive too much, sense too much, and think too much... but how to un-know the signs?...