sensuality

is it luck or fate or do you really know
how much deeply sensual beauty you show
are you consciously aware of how you got there
or is it just going with the flow
are you just going with the flow?

sensuality
is so much more than we see
but we all know visually
how someone can be
unapproachably
casual and free

when you look at me
there is no denying what you see
as you hunger viscerally
for someone who can be
irresistibly
sensuality

take my hand and touch your promised land
let your fantasy go where it will
no one else needs to understand
if it is just the thrill
is is more than just the thrill

hold me close and feel your self unfold
let your body sweep your mind away
forget everything else you've been told
you have found all you need today
sensuality today

let your sensuality
come out to play

sensuality
is so much more than we see
but we all know visually
how someone can be
unapproachably
casual and free

when you look at me
there is no denying what you see
as you hunger viscerally
for someone who can be
irresistibly
sensuality

roll with the flow
roll with the flow
roll with the flow
maybe you know

but even if you know
roll with the flow
roll with the flow
let yourself go

alone for years

the first time i fell in love i was not thinking much... so young and unconditional... naked, touching, humping, rolling on each other... so little fear at 4 years old... from then until just a few years ago i was in love and physically sharing love (and sexually active, shared or not) every day of this life... most years i had an active partner, but when i did not, i easily immersed myself in a fantasy of someone, at least visually... unconditional trust and falling in love was just being me...

all that changed just after the millennium changed... i found myself less willing to compromise... but even from a distance, in fantasy, i found myself more challenged to find someone who would inspire me to fall in love... even on the pure physical level, i found myself more challenged to find someone who would turn on libido... and most important of all, i found myself more challenged than ever to find someone who inspired me to want to trust unconditionally... and i write this wondering - do you understand that?... or this?...

and after a bit of wonderful masturbation earlier today i realized that it has been years since i fell in love with someone on any level... it is perspective, my perspective that has changed... i see the fear in the faces and i realize they do not trust themselves and therefore they cannot trust me and therefore, unlike before, i do not pretend to forget that i am a fool to unconditionally trust them... i know too much, see too much, feel too much, perceive too much, sense too much, and think too much... but how to un-know the signs?...

all

i wold tell you all my secrets if you cared to listen intensely enough to stay awake because you felt you could not stop listening for the sheer fascination of wanting to know me that much...

we don't have to fall in love, we just have to care enough...

i will live

it’s an aching loneliness
i confess
was it the cat curling up
while i slept
that awoke this loneliness
what a mess
how much more am i to bear
growing need
emo bleed
desperate for someone to hear

but not just anyone
no, not just anyone

the wagons circle
shudders close
there must be someone
who knows
how to reach that part of me
so long sleeping
promise keeping
worshipping what no one sees
how alone
can any one person be

but not just any one
oh, not just any one

the eyes roll back
heartbeats relax
and i am ready to die…
but i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
for love
for love
for love

it’s an aching loneliness
i confess
was it the cat curling up
while i slept
waking with a living breathing
animal in my arms
waking charms
what a mess
how much more am i to bear
growing need
emo bleed
desperate for someone to hear

but not just anyone
no, not just anyone

i mean no harm
i work hard to make that true
in every little thing i do
it is my way
and most of you
might say it is the way
of an innocent child, ok
maybe that is why i remain
alone again, unnaturally, in pain
please allow me to introduce myself
or please allow me to go insane

the eyes roll back
heartbeats relax
and i am ready to die…
but i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love
for love
for love
for love

it’s an aching loneliness
i confess
was it watching the couples kissing
at the party
wishing someone was with me
in that way
what can i say
what a mess
how much more am i to bear
growing need
emo bleed
desperate for someone to hear

but not just anyone
no, not just anyone

i will live for love
i will live for love
i will live for love

stranger at the orgy

i'm not just here for sex
see, i'm looking for love
something to hold on to
something to be proud of
i'm not prude or celibate
but i'm not just here for the lust
i want something more from you
someone i can trust

this is no passion play
even if you drive me wild
you might be my libido fantasy
but listen to me child

i'm not just here for sex
but i am not afraid
so if you want to touch me
if you want to be laid

you might get what you want here
but i want something more
and as i give it to you
i'll look for your closed door

and ask for it to open
to see the real inside
for i am here to know you
and not just for the ride

so what do you want?
we can spin the room around
let our feelings overflow
make that gasping suckling sound
put our primal selves in gear
leave all consciousness behind
and wake up in pools of passion
as if we both lost our mind

and if that's all you can offer
a sigh comes with morning light
anyone can be your lover
but i'll pass on you tonight

i'm not just here for sex
see, i'm looking for love
something to hold on to
something to be proud of
i'm not prude or celibate
but i'm not just here for the lust
i want something more from you
someone i can trust

i'm not just here for sex
i don't want to pretend
i'm not just here for sex
i'm looking for a friend